Let no-one be mistaken. The football World Cup is the biggest sporting event in the world bar none. It dwarfs the Olympics in terms of:

  • countries taking part;
  • television and spectator audience;
  • money.

It is the last of these that causes the problem.

FIFA has been accused of massive corruption in allowing the World Cup to be held in Qatar – a country with little football tradition. Qatar has never qualified for the World Cup on merit but has extraordinary resources and has been accused of applying those resources to winning the games by unorthodox means.

None of those accusations have been entirely made out, but many of the FIFA executive committee which found in their favour have since been banned, convicted or prosecuted for corruption – including Sepp Blatter and Michel Platini.

The games also have been heavily politicised due to:

  • the deaths of as many as 6,500 imported construction workers;
  • the appalling quasi-slavery of surviving workers;
  • allegations of sports-washing in a country with mediaeval attitudes to women’s rights, LGBTQ rights and dominated both by Shariah and an absolute monarchy.

My wife loves going to the World Cup – it is (usually) the best and biggest party in the world. She asked me a year ago whether I wanted to go and I replied: “I am morally opposed to the Qatar World Cup.”

Then, on the morning Australia qualified, she asked again whether I wanted to go.

In the excitement of qualification, I sighed from the bottom of my soul, but started looking into accommodation packages. The cheapest deal I could find, for a hotel room, was nearly $50k per week, so I turned back to my wife and said: “I am morally opposed to the Qatar World Cup.”

The only people I know who are going are staying in Dubai and flying in and out on the various days.

Mind you, the people I know going to Qatar are paying their own way, unlike the legion of influencers the Qatari organisers have flown in and accommodated to spruik a positive message and report bad behaviour from others. That will end well.

But if all that wasn’t bad enough, we come to the subject of beer (and alcohol more generally). Obviously, we have to respect the laws of other countries, but alcohol has long been available in Qatari hotels and they actually signed up for beer to be available as a condition of winning the bid (yeah… I know…)

We were hearing appalling stories of how much beer was likely to cost (as much as $92 in the ritzy sports bars) but at least it was available.

Or was it?

To eliminate beer from sale within stadia, two days before the tournament commenced, is a crime against humanity.

I went to Germany in 2006 (probably the best World Cup ever) and Russia 2018 and these events were celebrated in the proper spirit. As a World Cup attendee, it is my sacred prerogative, nay duty, to wake up naked in a dumpster in a pool of (mostly) my own vomit! Denying fans this fundamental human right is likely to mean that this will be the last time the WC ever gets staged in an Arabic country.

Always one to read the room correctly, Gianni Infantino decided to put all us doubters in our place on the eve of the World Cup. In a long and bizarre rant he claimed to identify with every marginalised sub-culture under the sun – because he had red hair and freckles as a kid moving from comparatively wealthy Italy to super-wealthy Switzerland.

I can just imagine his terrible suffering. I’m surprised he didn’t ask Garang Kuol and Sam Kerr to stand with him on the podium to show diversity solidarity with him as he harangued the West for wanting to apply their ideals of liberty and equality to others.  

But we finally got to the football. So, after a casual riot in the fan zone where no-one could get in, the beer-free festival commenced with that football demi-god – Morgan Freeman – in a tete-a-tete with some Qatari blogger to get us all in the mood.

Eventually, the hosts kicked off and within three minutes we had our first scandal – a VAR chalk-off of an Ecuador goal that absolutely should have stood. VAR is supposed to eradicate howlers – not forensically investigate every last nuance. In any case the man with his toe offside did not interfere with play so – VAR was doubly wrong.

Fortunately, justice prevailed with two goals to the better team before half time, and the passionate Qatari crowd showed the depth of their passion for the game and their team by leaving in droves.

But half empty stadiums won’t bother Gianni Infantino. He’s already anointed the Qatar World Cup as the best World Cup ever, so who am I to doubt him?

Of one thing I am certain... no matter how odd the World Cup has been so far, those crazy Qatari funsters are not done with us yet.

 

Adrian's books can be purchased at any good bookstore or through ebook alchemy. His first sci-fi novel (Asparagus Grass) will be published by Hague Publishing in early 2023.